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2005-08-19 - 12:58 p.m. A Hiccup in the Plan Happy hour last night was at this English pub downtown which is a pretty cool place, but inexplicably has a 100% Mexican bartending staff. Not that there is anything wrong with Mexican bartenders but when you are at an English pub you kind of expect to hear shit like “Cheerio”, “Pip, Pip, old man” and “bollocks” rather than “Como esta?” In attendance were: Ollie, Julia, Sacco, CapeCod, DancingGirl (briefly) and her new roommate, Stagger, BigPapi, Pippi, Urinalcake and his girlfriend, and SurferDude. Ollie and Julie are moving to the west coast at the end of the month and I’ll only probably get to hang out with them once more before they leave. That kind of sucks. For some reason DancingGirl has been giving me a hard time recently about not being “as crazy as I used to be” which I think is odd because while I am not in the habit of getting arrested, getting thrown out of bars or puking on myself, I think I am still fairly crazy on a pretty consistent basis. I asked her what she would consider crazy behavior and she said, “If I buy you enough shots, will you dance naked on the bar?” Look if you want to get me naked just ask. DrBigBeef naked bar dancing might be scary for the other bar patrons. Fairly late in the evening, I somehow developed a really bad case of the hiccups. Usually I can defeat hiccups by exhaling all the air out of my lungs and then “hold my breath” (I guess not breathing would be a better description since I technically have little or no breath to hold at the point, but whatever). I was too drunk to get this to work so I sent CapeCod to the bar to get me some sugar. If you don’t know, this also works. Just put a packet’s worth of sugar in your mouth and your hiccups will go away. CapeCod apparently said “Can I have some sugar, my friend has the hiccups” and the bartender said, “Here, this will work much better than sugar” and poured me a free shot of tequila. I was already ¾ loaded so the last thing I actually needed was a shot of tequila. I don’t mind tequila (especially good tequila; this was middle of the road tequila…better than Cuervo, not as good as Don Julio) but I really prefer it to be slightly chilled, which this was not. Yikes. After Ollie and Julia left, we were talking about how, in general, Ollie is a bit of a pimp and that before he started dating Julia, it wasn’t uncommon for him to get women’s numbers every time we went out (Saturday night, happy hour, Sunday brunch…didn’t matter). Which led to the following conversation: Stagger: “Didn’t he date TheMynx for awhile?” CapeCod was flabbergasted by this. She insisted that Paddler is way out of Ollie’s league. Granted Paddler is very hot but Ollie is a fairly good looking guy (tall, tan, in good shape, not bald, blue eyes). Then she said, “She was really into you, which I can understand because you are much better looking than Ollie.” Really? Maybe I’m a much cooler drink of water than I think I am… Anyway, have a good weekend. Behave,
The Case of Porn v. Strippers - 2010-12-16
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