2012-01-27 - 2:53 p.m.
Dr. Naismith Would Be Proud
My league basketball season started up again. We are 2-1 so far, including a strong win last week when we were somewhat shorthanded (only two subs). Our lone loss was to a local school’s alumni team* who historically has been a good (top 10 out of 40) team, but not a great team. My team’s biggest problem is that we don’t have any true “big men” other than me; we have other tall guys, but they are skinny and like to play on the perimeter. We have one former football player, but he’s only like 6’1. This team we lost to has one large black guy who is slightly bigger than me, who is hard to guard. One of our players graduated from grad school from this local school two years ago and during warm ups was like “That guys looks familiar. Did I have class with him? Oh, wait. That’s Dave XXXX.” Yeah, so Dave XXXX played varsity basketball for this local DI school who has a turtle as a mascot that plays in a league with Dook and C@rolina. His player bio online lists him at 6’8 268. Guess who I had to guard. He didn’t completely embarrass me, but it wasn’t fun times.
Tennis has not been going well. I’ve been playing OK but not great, but I’ve been paired up with some truly atrocious doubles partners. I had one match against a very good team where my partner would have done more to help us out if, rather than playing tennis, had taken a big steaming shit in the doubles alley and then stood in the corner tickling his taint for two hours.
I had a big of a conditioning epiphany recently. It’s not uncommon for me to have weeks where I have 10 hours of hard core athletic activity. But it’s also not uncommon during certain times of year for me to have a stretch of two weeks where I do nothing (other than walking, which I do a good bit of). Two results of this are: 1) my level of cardio fitness swings wildly which means I’m not necessarily in great position when I do have 5 nights in a row of tennis; and 2) my weight tends to fluctuate by 5-8 lbs during any given month. I care more about #1 than I do about #2, but it also occurred to me that if I got regular, rather than irregular exercise, I could probably be in pretty awesome shape.
Hilary wanted to buy a exercise bike for the basement because she’s too lazy to go to the gym, so I got on board and made her get a recumbent bike**. So on days when I don’t have tennis/basketball/football, I do 8 miles in 30 minutes on a high resistance setting. I started this new plan right before Thanksgiving and have lost about 10 pounds (which is generally hard to do over the holidays). I’d like to get down to the 225-230 range, which I think given that I lost 10 in 2 months and during the holidays, should be very doable (another 10-15 lbs). More important, I’m not huffing like a 2 pack a day smoker at basketball, so that’s a good thing. The down side it that my pants don’t really fit anymore and I’m really not psyched to buy new ones. And I’m kind of against self improvement, so I’m not sure how I feel about all this.
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I’ve been sick with a cold for the past week and a half. Now I’m at the point where it’s just a little congestion, but two weekends ago, I felt like ass. The day I really went down hill, Hilary dragged me to T@rget for some unneeded consumerism. For reasons that escape me, she wanted to go to the store in the city, rather than the one in the suburbs. This is important because somewhat counter intuitively, the suburbs store is filled with poor black and Hispanic people and the city store is filled (mostly) with 20 something young professionals. Anyway, I was pushing the cart along in a daze of cold medicine and Hilary had wandered off somewhere. I managed to clip the edge of a row of shelves with my cart, which didn’t do any damage. But it did lead a fairly attractive woman to say, “Ha, that’s how I drive.” Then stop walking, turn and say: “I mean my cart.” Pause. “ Not my car.” Pause. “I’m a good driver.” Then blush, and rush off. It was like some bad teen com, except instead of Jason Biggs hitting on an exchange student in the most awkward possible way. Except that I was the exchange student and Jason Biggs was an awkward but very bang-able 25 year old. All the more perplexing is that I looked like shit (hadn’t shaved or put my contacts in, baseball hat, work jeans). So much for self-improvement.
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Last night at happy hour, I was talking to Sacco about some problems he’s having with his woman. She apparently got mad at him because he made her dinner, but it had too many carbs so she didn’t want to eat it. I said, “It’s not like you took a shit in the cr0ckpot or anything…” I crack myself up.
Also, BadStaci went off on her rant how she loves tall guys which led to the following conversation:
BS: If you weren’t taken, I’d be all over you.
DBB: You’d wear me out.
BS: No, I’m not nearly as manic now. My medication is really helping.
DBB: Oh, I could handle you in day to day life. I meant sexually. My penis is afraid of you.
She thinks I’m witty.
Behave,
DBB
drbigbeef@yahoo.com
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*I may have mentioned this before, but this league is university alumni teams. So I play for Alma Mater State University, although there was one season I played for University of Alma Mater.
**Much easier on Crick and Watson (my testicles***) than a regular upright bike.
***Yes, I’ve named my testicles.
Dr. Naismith Would Be Proud - 2012-01-27
Flattery, Stalking, Inebriation and a Failure to Communicate - 2012-01-09
PSA #69 - 2011-12-14
Treasure Hunters - 2011-12-13
Hashtags are Cool - 2011-12-08
